I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Randomize
