my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
