Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
