He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
