Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
