so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
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