I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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