is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Randomize