Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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