the new term for farting is butt boxing.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
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