What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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