it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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