Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
