i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize