What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
