It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
so let's talk penis.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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