so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
