yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
