It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize