i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
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