i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
