I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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