This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I got her a Nickelback box set.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize