nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Randomize
