The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
