Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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