Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
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