the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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