It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Randomize
