If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
I CAN MOONWALK!
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
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