I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
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