and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
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