I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
