no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
