she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
In other news, I just burned my penis
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
