I want to make a zoo with you.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize