get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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