her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
