I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Randomize