At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
