Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Randomize
