Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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