i used baking grease as lip gloss
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
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