Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
