ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
