Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
