Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
you told grandpa to call you daddy
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
