i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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