Taylor Swift is so right about you.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
