i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
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