I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Randomize
