Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
