i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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