why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
Randomize