He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
