two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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