I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize