Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize
