I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Randomize
