i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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