You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
