It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
