You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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