Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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