No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
