She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Randomize
