I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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