so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Randomize
