just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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