My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
He felt like a one man threesome
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
